Juanita di Perli was a young woman when she decided to live the rest of her life on a table-top. She called it God’s will, but for the order of nuns that sprang up around her, Juanita’s devotion was a curse. For decades they did the bidding of the holy grouch, and the entire island of San Juan el Pirata sighed with relief when she died.

Twenty years later, the islanders fight for Juanita’s canonization—not because they liked her, but because a local saint would be a tourist boon. The only thing keeping the island poor is the Archduke, who refuses to ask Rome to consider Juanita for sainthood. His stubbornness may get him dethroned or worse, for nothing will stop his subjects in their pursuit of Juanita’s holy cause.